My Week...

Adding pictures on here drives me crazy. There has to be a much easier way to do it. I wonder if I add the pictures first and then write around them? Help me fellow bloggers, I need your guidance at this time!

I had a crazy week. This is the first time that I've felt calm enough to even get it into words. I have no doubt that it is thanks to my ward family and to the wonderful spirit present in Sacrament, Gospel Doctrine, and Relief Society on Sunday. Bro. and Sis Wentworth spoke of the blessings related to keeping the Sabbath holy and adhering to the word of wisdom. Owen was amazingly good....come to thing of it, ALL of my kids were amazingly good. Maybe they felt, as I did, the need for renewal. My friends were warm and supportive and always fill my cup rather than emptying it. They don't need anything from me, and still want me around. That sure is nice. :-) So now that I am in a better place, I want to get rid of all the "yuck" and move on.

I finally fell apart this week, got down, saw no light at the end of the tunnel, and cried my little amber-colored eyes out (as an aside, the amber eyes thing may possibly be explained in a later ex-boyfriend rant).

That almost never happens to me. In RS on Sunday we talked about looking at negative circumstances and finding the positive in them. That is TOTALLY me. I am the glass half full girl all the way. In fact, I drive Aaron INSANE with this trait. If we run out of gas? Thank goodness we have friends close by we can rescue us! If traffic slows us down or we are stuck by the train? I am sure there's a reason we are being delayed and our destination will still be there when we get there! I guess after all these months of waiting for something positive to come out of this situation we're in, my heart eventually broke.

My brand new car, MY CAR, my Hyundai that I got for my birthday last year, broke down. It worked fine all weekend....heck it worked fine all that DAY. We've taken immaculate care of it. The service records have been kept to a "t". Then out of nowhere! *poof* bogging, shaking....and then the check engine light popped up. I got my car home and just hoped and prayed that it was a mistake. I turned off the car, restarted it and the bogging and shaking just continued. The check engine light was STILL on. Not to be cliche but it was truly the straw that broke the camel's back. I called Aaron to tell him and I just lost it.

There was no positive in me in that moment. There was no silver lining. All there was was the memory of washing my car on Saturday, wiping it down and vaccuuming it and just praying to Heavenly Father and feeling sure that things would work out and I would be able to keep my car. I felt like if I really tried to keep my things nice that something good would happen and I would be able to keep my car (yes, I know this is bargaining, but I still did it). I spent most of the rest of the night in despair.

Happily, the negative did not cling. Being the white, bright, shiny half of the yin-yang that is my marriage, I spring back pretty easily. By the next morning I remembered that we spent the extra 1200 for the super extra coverage (which we did not need because the factory warranty ended up covering the repair). I finally had the presence of mind to ACT rather than be ACTED UPON. I called the warranty people, I called Hyundai, and I called AAA (my father, for the last 10 years, has included me in his deluxe silver blah blah membership and it is a life saver!) The only little black rain cloud that continued to follow me was the wonderful virus that loves to rear it's ugly little head (literally) when I am stressed. No insurance=$400 prescription. Yeah, no thanks. All hail Abreva and it's ability to make me shiny and new...

In the end, my friend Tim at the Hyundai dealer fixed me up. Bad ignition coil. All better now. I've finally accepted that my car will not be mine for much longer. I can finally see the positive in the whole mess because we were at least prepared for it. I have wonderful friends who go the extra mile to help me (literally, ask Melissa just how MANY extra miles it was). We had some other blessings come this week. Though it was painful, the Landcruiser was sold to a collector and I was able to get a beautiful new van (how much it is actually mine remains to be seen, and may be the subject of a later rant seeing as how I am not allowed to put anything remotely feminine on it...). I was happy to be able to spend lots of time with Melissa and Rosa-something I might not have been able to do if I'd been living my regular, comfy day to day.

I was so grateful for the lessons on Sunday. It was really one of those weeks when I felt that the messages were for me. From the trials of Zion's Camp to President Monson's encouragement to be of good cheer for the future is BRIGHT!